well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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