i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
