uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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