I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize