1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
