wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
