it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
