Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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