What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
