we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
