New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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