I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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