i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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