Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I bet he comes in French.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
