So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
