Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
