Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
