everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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