Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize