shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
