im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Watching her eat just hurts me
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
