Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
