Its about making memories worth repressing
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
