Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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