exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
