i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
