I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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