I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
