Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
