I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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