i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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