I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize