I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
