I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
