due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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