don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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