did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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