i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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