just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
