My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
