No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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