Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
