let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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