your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Houston, we have a squirter
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
