he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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