i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
