Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
