We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
