You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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