first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
