remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
