Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
