Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize