I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
false alarm. still invincible.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
