I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
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