was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
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