You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
