Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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