just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
