I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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