I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
