no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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