My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
