Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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