Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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