I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
