Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
